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Last year during “Love Week” I wrote a blog titled Single Sheena. It explored part of my journey as a single woman. This Truth Tuesday I want to share a lesson I learned from each of the following stages of Sheena (Single, Dating, Engaged and Married).
Single Sheena endured shame from being in her late 20s and never experiencing a romantic relationship. In the blog I talked about lying on the floor having a Viola Davis from Fences type of cry. Single Sheena took fear, shame and pain, packed them in her purse and took them to therapy with her. Session by session, she slowly unpacked her purse and found if you don’t truly resolve issues your load doesn’t become lighter, the weight is just distributed differently. You’ll have a new “problem spot” but you’re no closer to getting to the root cause of the pain. *Yo, read that again my friends* She was fearless laced heavily with bravado. Single Sheena would be best described as “I wish a mofo would”. She taught me to appreciate ME because she is the one that made the decision to go to therapy. She’s the generational curse breaker. I’m not sure I give her enough credit. She was a bad ass!!!
Dating Sheena was growth, but growth isn’t pretty. She was in unchartered waters, didn’t know how to swim, and had a life jacket she wasn’t quite sure how to use. Dating Sheena learned that bravado comes with a price and its name is humility. She’s the part of the journey that made a ton of mistakes, but tried to put them on others. She was in therapy so she knew everything but knew nothing at the same time. Dating Sheena is best described as “My name is David Ruffin and these are the Temptations”. Dating Sheena taught me that growth isn’t pretty, but it’s essential! She was the one that sacrificed looking like a jerk for the sake of growth. She was a martyr.
Engaged Sheena was full of wonder, hope and excitement, but then she was filled with doubt and scared out of her mind. (I wasn’t the girl who dreamed of getting married. I was going to travel the world and help make it a better place.) After getting engaged, she was scared and felt slightly stuck. She’d been independent since she was pushed out of my mom’s womb. She thought how is this gonna play out, am I REALLY ready for this??? Engaged Sheena is best described as “Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde”. She got engaged, started a new job and started the process of buying a house all within 3-4 months. All these wonderful things were happening and she was ecstatic, but when she was alone she freaked out. Engaged Sheena taught me how to embrace change. I think I’m hardest on her because she was slightly a poser. But, in her defense, she’s the one I know the least because she was only around a year.
Married Sheena is complex because within her there’s different versions. For the sake of this blog I’ll focus on married Sheena a year into being married (we’ll celebrate our 3rd anniversary in April). She was light! She used all the tools in her toolbox to find the root cause of issues and talk through them. She started Truth Tuesday (thanks girl). Emotionally she started traveling new places in order to help people. That’s a full circle moment! In my blog post titled “The Wheel” I talked about the Universe giving you things you desire even if it’s not in the same vessel. Many years ago, I desired to travel around the world to help others. Through me sharing my truths, my words travel and help others. Married Sheena is best described as a “truth heals”. She has taught me love is ever evolving.
Happy Love Week!
Until next time loves…
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